(EDIT: We’ve added direct donation buttons to both my blog and Ome’s! More info is at the bottom of this post!)
okay, so I’ve already posted about this a million times on my blog but since we really don’t have a whole lot of options right now I would really like to signal boost the situation because we kind of really need help.
I’m asexual, biromantic, and a victim of severe abuse. for years I’ve put up with domestic violence, both verbal and physical, from my mother, because I’ve had nowhere else to go, and because I supposed I was safer by keeping quiet. my mother is extremely queerphobic, extremely overbearing, and extremely prone to losing her temper: not a good combination, as you can probably guess. I have had no choice but to stay with her, as I am on a medical leave from school, and I have no immediate family in the area—the rest of my family is equally conservative and queerphobic, in any case, to the point where when I tried two months ago to come out to my dad and explained the abuse from my mom to him, he refused to offer me any safety, saying he would only allow me to stay with him for a month at most if I did come to stay with him, and trying to demand that I sign a legal contract so that I couldn’t stay longer than that month. I refused his offer, of course, and suspect I would receive similar or worse treatment from other familiy members were I to try and ask for their help.
as of the 16th, my girlfriend Ome came from Argentina to visit. we had planned for the trip to last about a month, until the 13th of October, and had intended to go sightseeing and just have a fun trip doing general touristy things around Seattle. we were very careful of our behavior around the house, very cautious about not even so much as holding hands or walking too close to one another whenever my mother was around. however, on Saturday morning, the 20th, my mother came to me saying that she suspected me of being in a relationship with Ome, and asked me for the truth. she claimed that if I lied to her and that she found out about the lie later into the trip, she would be “very, very angry.” since I feared my mom would simply continue to poke and pry and search for evidence of Ome and me being in a relationship even if I denied it, I came forward with the truth.
my mother initially promised to be accepting and seemed dismayed and shocked, but otherwise calm about the situation. however, as of the 21st, Sunday night, the situation escalated: my mother claimed she was going to “force Ome back on a plane to Argentina” by the next day, and threatened to forcibly check me into a mental facility, claiming that I was “delusional.”
I tried everything in my power to explain my feelings, my refusal to be checked into anywhere without my consent, as I am an adult of 21 years of age. the more I explained that being queer had always been a part of my identity, even from a young age, and that I had had to keep it secret from my mother and other family members for my own safety, the more furious she became, screaming at me, insisting I was lying, accusing me of “deceit,” “treachery,” and insisting that I had “damned my eternal soul” and was going to rot in hell. as the conversation progressed along these lines, she even began insisting that I “wasn’t her daughter,” called me a “demonic, evil being possessing her daughter,” and said that she wished I had never been born.
that night, I attempted to leave the house. Ome and I were getting my things in order, and I had my passport and credit cards accounted for so that we could attempt to get somewhere safer. however, my bedroom door did not have a lock, and my mother barged into my room, forcibly yanked my purse away from me, and stole almost everything of value from it: my passport, my credit cards, my car keys, and my house keys. she threw these things into her own purse. I attempted multiple times to talk to her and request my things back, but she refused to listen, and when I went to her room, she leapt up, raised her fist, and threatened to beat me if I kept asking. I feel that the only reason she did not actually carry through with her threat was because Ome was around. beating, throwing things, and even attempts at strangulation have all been very frequent methods of my mother’s abuse in the past whenever no one was around to watch.
as my mother continued to threaten to institutionalize me and “force” Ome back to Argentina, I finally called the cops. however, my mother left with all my stolen items shortly before the cops arrived. the police told me there was “nothing they could do” about my property until my mother actually came home, and when I asked if it was posssible for one of them to wait at the house with us until she came back, as we did not know when to expect her, they said it was not. terrified, sleepless, unable to eat, Ome and I waited in my bedroom for hours until deciding to go to a hotel, where we are now staying as we try to figure things out.
I still do not have my credit cards or passport back. I attempted to retrieve them Monday evening, the 22nd, but she had intentionally left my things at her workplace. she claims if I come by tomorrow, she will return them to me, but I have no way of telling if she will uphold that promise or not.
a good friend of mine from Alabama who I know and trust has promised both Ome and me a place to stay with him and his family. currently, we are trying to get there—but without my credit cards, and with the current food and hotel costs on Ome’s cards, that is somewhat difficult. I only have $30.00 of cash on me for the time being, and we would like to be able to invest most of our money in transportation out of here.
currently we are in the Everett, Washington area. we are looking at options for either plane tickets or train fare to reach my friend’s place. our money situation for now is obviously somewhat precarious—I have looked into nearby abuse shelter options, but every shelter in the nearby area does not accept couples. we can still afford to stay in our current hotel for a relatively low price for another couple of days or so, but trying to purchase a means of transportation out of the area to reach my friend is looking impossible without assistance.
if anyone would be willing to donate at all, Ome has her Paypal account up—we can accept donations now, though it will take at least another day or so before her credit card is connected with the account. please, anything at all would help—any donations would help us more quickly leave this dangerous situation and reach a safe space, and we would both be so, so entirely grateful.
we’re also willing to start emergency commissions! we don’t have a tablet with us, but Ome is able to do $1.00 emergency sketch commissions, and I would be happy to do $1.00 writing commissions, if anyone would be interested!
for anyone willing to donate, please send donations to Ome’s Paypal account at email@example.com. anything at all would help, and I could never express enough how grateful I would be for any assistance at all in this really terrifying situation. if donations aren’t possible, even spreading this post around would be extremely helpful!